My interview for a BDSMLibrary Forum

I am a member of a BDSMLibrary Forum, and recently volunteered for an interview with one of the members named AlexBragi. The interview is posted below.

Posted on November 2, 2006, at 9:58 PM
The world is competitive,
And, I'm ill-equipped to compete,
But I'm no less of a person,
Because I'm not complete.

I live in a body labelled "second" rate,
Thought I feel second to none,
When society knows the difference,
Then my battle's won. (Anon)

I must be honest here, when I began typing up questions to put to RickBulow74 I thought, "Sure, he said I could ask him anything, but can I really? And, if I do, will he get offended at all?" Well, yes I could, yes I did, and no he certainly wasn't. I had absolutely nothing to be concerned about. Rick has a physical disability, however he is exactly as he describes himself, "...an open book." And, as I found out—an incredibly interesting and remarkable "book" at that!

Alex: Rick, your "disability" is cerebral palsy, which quite obviously doesn't affect your brain, so what exactly is it?

Rick: Well, actually, cerebral palsy DOES affect the brain, though not in the way most think. Permit me to clarify. When I was born there was not enough oxygen to my brain, which left certain functions partially paralyzed. Some people look at those who have CP (short for cerebral palsy) and think they are mentally retarded. I am one of a few who are not mentally retarded. My paralysis comes from not being able to run or walk for a long distance or for a long period of time. Plus I have a hard time standing for too long of a time.

Alex: Ok, ok, I know this one a below the belt, but I have to ask it, do you have the same sexual functioning as a fully able bodied man?

Rick: It is, but I do not mind answering it, as most of the women have a right to know. Like I said above, my CP affects my running, walking, and balance. I am, indeed, fully functionable below.

Alex: Rick, you've been very frank and honest about your condition. You didn't have to be, so why did you choose to be so open?

Rick: The answer to that is real simple, Alex. I chose to come out with it because I am not afraid to come out and say that I have it. You see, I am of the philosophy that each of us were put here on this earth for one purpose or another, and I feel that whatever God has in store for me by letting me have a disability I say so be it. If you do not mind, there is a scripture verse in the Bible which I follow wholeheartedly. In 2 Corinthians chapter 12, the Apostle Paul was harassed by his own thorn in the flesh and he entreated God 3 times to remove it, but God declined, saying in verse 9 that "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore, as Paul continues, "I will glory in weaknesses, in infirmities, for when I am weak, He is strong." Whenever I see people in my Real Time (aka RT) travels and they ridicule me about my disability, I always tell then that "I have cerebral palsy, but it does not have me." as well as "I have cerebral Palsy, what's your problem?" The reason for the second one is because I might be disabled, but that is no reason or call to ridicule me for it.

Alex: That's a good attitude you have there, Rick. Now this interests me, as bdsm frequently involves levels of humiliation, particularly it's something submissives will often crave. So how will you deal with this if and when confronted with it?

Rick: I have no idea how I will deal with it right at this moment. I will deal with it when I cross that bridge.

Alex: You've quoted the Bible verbatim here. Are you a practicing Christian? We have quite a few here, you know. And, do you, or did you, ever have trouble reckoning your beliefs with your sexual desires?

Rick: I was up until a couple of years ago. Now I consider myself to be a spiritual Person. You see, I am originally from Chicago, and when I was there I was a Catholic. Then when I moved to Fort Myers, Florida, in 1987, I was a Baptist (I think the pastor of the first Baptist church I was a member of was concerned with how I was spending my sundays more than saving my soul), Non-Denominational, Swedenborgian (I am still debating what it is so do not even ask me), Jehovah's Withness, and finally Mormon. What turned me off to most of them is the strict rules iand cultures in some of them. I would rather read and follow the Bible on my own. Ya know, I used to have trouble with reckoning my spiritual beliefs with my sexual desires, but then I went to Yahoo Clubs and found a site in which the BDSM and the Christianity are intermingled.

Alex: You've had thirty operations on your legs and eye, that simply amazes me. Now, you did say I could ask you anything, so did you, or do you, ever find yourself fantasising about nurses and hospitals?

Rick: If you would have asked me this question when I was younger I would have said "Hell no!" But now that I think about it I would label that a distinct possibility. I am of the philosophy that I am willing to try anything, save for certain things, once and if I like it I will use it in my repertoire.

Alex: You've obviously give it some thought, so what "certain things" would be completely off limits to you?

Rick: Scat, animals, children, heavy pain, heavy bloodletting, and electricity are on my short list of DEFINATELY off limits things. Any else I am willing to try once, as I mentioned above.

Alex: You've described yourself as a 'switch'. You also say you are new to bdsm. Do you feel that there's possibility you might not have yet discovered what you are?

Rick: It might be possible that I might not have discovered what I am yet, but at the moment I do not, as I am very versatile and am willing to try anything. I felt that I had lived a sheltered life for too long and want to explore the lifestyle to the fullest.

Alex: Quite obviously, the metal side of bdsm won't be a problem for you, however it can also be quite physical. Have you considered how you will deal with that side of it?

Rick: I had considered it. In fact, a few days prior to volunteerring for the interview I had posted a thread entitled Handicapped People and BDSM in which I asked just how a person with a physical disability can be involved in the lifestyle.

Alex: You joined the Writers' Circle recently, how's it going down there?

Rick: Well, my RT has been very hectic, but know that I am currently working on something and will post it in the coming weeks.

Alex: You told Tojo, when you joined, " I do not consider myself a pervert YET. I consider myself a PREvert." How close do you feel you are now to being a full on pervert?

Rick: *chuckling as I recall those words* I think I am getting close to being a full on perv, but not there just yet.

Alex: I know that you'd like to work with computers sometime in the future. I also know that I speak for everyone here when I say I wish you all the best with that, and in finding someone special to share your bdsm life with. Thank you so much for sharing a part of yourself with us. You're an amazing man, Rick.

Rick: I thank you for the oppurtunity to be interviewed. If any want to know more about me, all they need to is hit me up on my messengers or in PM, as they are always open.

Click here to read Rick's short, short take.